Handling Disappointment And Life Changes After Exam Results

It’s late August, and thousands of students across the country will be digesting their GCSE or A level exam results. This might be a cause of relief or celebration, but for some it might bring shock, sadness, and self-doubt. 

Whatever emotions your results bring, this is a time of transition. Some students will be moving on to college or university in a few weeks time, while others will take their first steps into the world of work. In all cases, it will involve leaving behind friendships and familiar places and routines. 

Both disappointment and change can feel difficult to handle, but there are ways to move through them with resilience and self-compassion.

Coping with exam disappointment

If you didn’t get the grades you were hoping for, it’s okay to feel upset. Disappointment is a natural response when things don’t go as planned. What matters is how you respond to it.

• Give yourself space to feel: You don’t have to put on a brave face straight away. Sadness, frustration, or even anger are all normal. Allowing yourself to feel them rather than burying them or resorting to harmful comfort behaviours is the first step towards processing them.

• Notice your self-talk: It’s easy to slip into all or nothing “I’ve failed, so I’ll never succeed” thinking. Try to challenge that black and white voice: there is always a grey area in between, even if someone else tries to make you feel bad. Remind yourself that an exam is one moment in time, not a measure of your entire worth or potential. 

• Step back and look at the bigger picture: Some of the most successful people in business, science, and the arts didn’t get the grades they first hoped for. What mattered was how they adapted and kept moving forward. Richard Branson, Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein are all high achievers who didn’t excel academically. 

• Explore your options: Clearing, resits, apprenticeships, vocational training – there are many paths to the future you want. Sometimes not getting your first choice leads to opportunities you might never have considered otherwise.

• Make time for other interests: There’s more to life than exams: ask anyone over the age of 30, and most will probably say that exam results matter much less than you think to your future plans. Getting out and doing things that you enjoy can help to keep life in perspective and remind you of your bigger goals in life. 

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Facing the transition ahead

Even for those celebrating good results, this is a season of big change. Moving to university, starting an apprenticeship, or stepping into your first job all mean leaving behind the comfort of school, familiar teachers, and daily routines. Friendships may change as people move to different places.

It’s completely normal to feel excited about what’s next and, at the same time, to feel anxious or a little overwhelmed.

Ways to manage change

• Take it step by step: Big transitions feel less daunting when broken down into manageable parts – sorting out accommodation, getting travel plans in place, or setting up a study or work routine.

• Hold onto important connections: Friendships don’t have to disappear. Staying in touch may take effort, but the bonds you value most are worth nurturing. At the same time, try to stay open to meeting new people in your next chapter.

• Build new routines: Routines give us stability when everything else feels uncertain. Whether it’s regular exercise, cooking, or setting aside time for rest, these small anchors can make a big difference.

• Be kind to yourself: No one navigates change perfectly. There will be ups and downs, and that’s okay. Try to talk to yourself as you would a good friend – with patience and encouragement.

• Reach out if you need to: If feelings of low mood or overwhelm don’t lift, speaking with a trusted adult, mentor, or a therapist can really help. You don’t have to go through this alone.

  
  

Building resilience for the future

Exam results, whether positive or disappointing, are part of a much bigger journey. Learning to cope with setbacks and to adjust to change are life skills that will serve you well beyond school or college. Each challenge you face now builds resilience that will help you in the future.

If you’re finding this time particularly tough, you don’t have to manage it on your own. Speaking with an IFS therapist can give you a safe, supportive space to explore your feelings, build coping strategies, and move forward with confidence.