How Parents Can Ease Back-To-School Blues In An Online Age

It’s the beginning of September, and that means fresh starts, particularly for children who will be returning to school. For some, it’s a happy time when they pick up their friendships and make new ones, and look forward to upcoming academic or sporting challenges. 

However, the world is an increasingly complex place, especially for young people, and this can heighten anxiety and undermine their mental wellbeing. Pressure to perform academically and socially has never been more intense, thanks to an uncertain economy and the relentless churn of digital media. 

While there are no ways to completely evade these stressors, there are strategies that can help your child make the transition to a new school year with greater resilience and calm. 

Understanding why your child is unsettled

If your child is making a big leap starting a new school, perhaps in a different area away from familiar faces, it is totally understandable that they will feel a little overwhelmed and nervous at first. Even if your child is excited to make the move, it can still cause disrupted sleep patterns and lead to heightened anxiety or irritability. 

However, even moving up a year at the same school can throw some children off-balance: social groups shift as peers develop in different ways; there will be new timetables, teachers and subjects to get used to. Maybe they are under more intense academic demands and expectations than previously. 

The comparison trap of social media

On top of all the above pressures that have been faced by every generation, today’s schoolchildren are increasingly living their lives online. It’s a digital landscape that is still largely unregulated, and we are only just beginning to realise the impact of social media on rates of teenage anxiety, depression, and loneliness. 

Social media isn’t going to go away any time soon, and it can even be positive, offering a sense of connection, guidance or belonging that some children don’t find elsewhere. However, it often functions on the basis of conditional and fleeting approval. If this fades, it can cause teens to feel rejected or invisible, or even escalate into cyberbullying. 

This can lead to a cycle of endlessly looking for validation, only for the teen to fall into a comparison trap as they see the polished and curated feeds of their peers or celebrities. If left unchecked, this may lead to issues such as poor body image, low self esteem, anxiety, or eating disorders. 

What parents can do to help 

Supporting your child doesn’t mean removing obstacles from their path: sometimes, they are just the necessary hurdles to clear on the way to becoming a functional adult. However, you can guide them to a healthier and more balanced way to approach them. 

For example:

Encourage tech-free downtime

It’s now the norm for many kids to reach for a screen when they have time to themselves. Try to encourage off-screen activities such as sports or outdoor activities; or a creative outlet such as a drama or dance class; art, woodcrafts or cookery: whatever real-world skill they have an inclination and natural flair for. 

This can help children to relieve stress and grow in confidence and self-esteem away from their academic achievements and peer group pressure. It will help them build an identity and sense of value and belonging that doesn’t rely on empty likes and clicks, or the hothouse atmosphere and friendship dynamics of school.

Value effort as much as outcome

If academic pressure is the biggest source of stress, try not to make a big deal about your child’s grades. Instead, focus on the value of not giving up at every bump in the road, and praise them when they show persistence, creativity, or a willingness to solve problems. 

Listen as well as talk

It is tempting to offer cheery pep talks to reassure an anxious child, or focus on practical details such as homework or school trips. However, this can close off valuable opportunities for building a deeper sense of confidence and resilience. 

Give your child space to open up by asking them questions about how they are feeling about the year ahead, or what they are finding tough right now. Don’t jump in with solutions, but listen to them and pause before framing your response. Often, there will be no straightforward answers, but let your child know they are supported and valued. 

Dealing with deeper issues

If your child has been experiencing more serious mental health challenges, such as low self-esteem, phobias, anxiety or eating disorders, they may benefit from some work with a therapist at our Harley Street clinic.