What Halloween Masks Can Teach Us About Emotional Honesty

Halloween originated as a way to honour, and also to fear, the dead: the ancient Celts believed it was a time when the boundaries between the everyday world and the spirit world were at their thinnest. They took solace that this made it easier to communicate with departed loved ones, but also feared that vengeful spirits could make their presence felt. 

So why does this seemingly anachronistic belief still hold such resonance today, when science and technology can explain away most “uncanny” encounters? Far from fading away as a forgotten tradition, Halloween celebrations seem to get bigger and bolder every year. Why are we still so drawn to all things scary, spooky and unexplained? 

As Psychology Today recently noted, part of the reason we enjoy being creeped out is because we can flirt with fear while still feeling safe. The monsters aren’t real, the lights will come back on, and our hearts can race without risk. This mix of fear and safety gives us a burst of adrenaline and a sense of release.

For one night, we give ourselves permission to wear masks, become someone else, and play with emotions that would otherwise feel off-limits. But what happens when the costumes come off? Does the way we play with fear and disguise at Halloween says something deeper about how we handle emotion the rest of the year?

The thrill of fear…and the safety of control

In everyday life, we often crave a way to feel uncomfortable without losing control. We might watch a sad film when we can’t face our own grief, or push ourselves to exhaustion at work instead of acknowledging anxiety. These are controlled forms of emotional exposure: we dip a toe into difficult feelings, but only when we can manage the setting.

Everyday costumes: the roles we play to stay safe

Just as we wear masks on Halloween, we wear psychological masks every day. We perform versions of ourselves that feel acceptable: the competent professional, the supportive friend, the strong one who doesn’t need help. These roles can be protective: they help us navigate expectations, avoid rejection, and maintain a sense of control.

Social roles are a necessary part of being a functional adult, and it’s obviously not practical or desirable to suddenly throw them off and allow your heart to always rule your head. 

However, when the boundaries between your social “mask” and your deeper emotions become too fixed, it can be a recipe for mental health problems such as burnout, anxiety  and depression. 

Fear of being seen

Behind a Halloween costume, we can express something hidden: eccentricity, mischief, vulnerability, sadness and grief. These emotions can be difficult to access in our everyday lives: social pressure to perform our roles keeps the mask in place, and we fear slipping because we don’t know how people would react to our “whole” selves. 

What if people don’t like what they see? What if showing weakness leads to rejection or loss of respect? Ironically, never showing anyone these sides of yourself can prevent people from feeling truly close to you, because there’s no “real” person to form a relationship with. 

It can also mean that you are constantly battling with unmet needs or buried traumas, and this can subconsciously sabotage your path to real fulfilment in life, whether that’s in your relationships, career, or interests and hobbies. 

From pretending to presence

Taking off the mask doesn’t mean revealing everything to everyone. Authenticity isn’t the opposite of privacy: it’s the opposite of pretending. It’s the moment when your inner and outer selves align, even just for a few moments each day. 

This alignment can be difficult to achieve without an outside perspective: often, we become so used to masking our emotions that we just feel numb when we try to dig deeper. 

If this resonates, you might benefit from Internal Family Systems Therapy. This is an innovative approach to therapy that enables you to get in touch with the hidden, damaged  parts of your psyche and work towards wholeness. Over time, feared emotions become less overwhelming, and facing them often leads to deeper self-connection and peace.

Halloween reminds us how comfortable we are with pretending; and how uncomfortable we are with being seen. Next time you glance round at a costume party or watch a spooky TV show, it might just be an opportunity to ask yourself what you're really afraid of.