Why Does Anger Spike In December… & How Can You Keep Calm?

December is supposed to be a month of goodwill and cheer, but it can also be one of the most emotionally charged times of the year. 

As Anger Awareness Week (1-7 December) arrives, it shines a light on something many of us struggle to talk about: why this season, with all its expectations, can activate anger more quickly and intensely than usual.

The founder of the British Association of Anger Management, Mike Fisher, explains: 

“National Anger Awareness Week encourages people to think about how anger impacts their lives and find ways to deal with this powerful feeling. In fact, if channelled correctly anger can be a creative rather than a destructive force.” 

Anger is not a personality fault: more often, it’s a messenger that tells you you’re overwhelmed, unheard, exhausted or navigating something deeper than you realise. That message tends to get louder in December, with all the extra pressures it brings. 

The pressure to be “fine” when you’re not

December comes with an unspoken expectation that we should always feel cheerful, be generous, and stay present for others. For many people, especially those with families or demanding jobs, this creates emotional pressure that can be hard to express directly. 

When the nervous system is overloaded and you’re stretched to breaking point, anger often appears before other emotions because your body has slipped into a stress response.

When anger is overwhelm in disguise

One of the most compassionate things we can do is look at what sits beneath anger. In December, that might be:

• Exhaustion from a demanding work year

• Financial stress around gifts, travel, or social events

• Grief or loneliness brought to the surface by holiday themes

• Family dynamics that feel triggering or emotionally complex

• Burnout that reduces your tolerance for everyday frustrations

Anger often arrives to protect you when things feel too much. It can be easier for the mind to leap to irritation, sharpness or withdrawal than to sit with sadness, fear or vulnerability.

The December environment lowers emotional thresholds

Several situational factors in December directly affect the brain and nervous system:

Reduced daylight and disrupted routines

Shorter days can lower mood, worsen sleep, and reduce emotional bandwidth.

Alcohol lowers inhibition and increases reactivity

Christmas parties, dinners and drinks can reduce self-regulation in ways that make irritability more likely.

Increased sensory load

Busy shops, noisy gatherings, crowded public spaces: all of these can overstimulate the nervous system.

A year’s worth of emotions catching up

Many people “push through” all year. When December arrives, the emotional barriers crumble.

When we understand these factors, anger becomes less of a threat, and more of a meaningful signal that we’re under strain.

What are the early signs you’re reaching your limit?

Anger rarely arrives out of nowhere. The body gives subtle cues first:

• Feeling tense, clenched or restless

• Becoming easily annoyed by things you’d normally brush off

• Low tolerance for noise, demands or interruptions

• Withdrawing, going quiet or shutting down

• Feeling hot, shaky or tight in the chest

• Turning to coping behaviours like overworking, scrolling or drinking

  
  

How to meet your anger with curiosity, not criticism

One of the most compassionate shifts you can make is this: instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?”, ask “What is my anger trying to show me?”

Here are some constructive ways to respond:

• Pause before reacting: physically step away, breathe slowly through the nose, and give your nervous system 30 – 60 seconds to settle.

• Name what’s happening internally: labelling the emotion reduces its intensity.

• Notice what you’re really needing: rest; support; time alone; a heart-to-heart? Anger points towards unmet needs.

• Lower the December expectations: you don’t need to attend every event, please everyone, or perform perfectly.

• Share your feelings before they build: a gentle statement like “I’m feeling quite stretched today, so I may need some quiet time later” can prevent escalation.

  
  

When therapy can help with anger issues 

If anger feels confusing, overwhelming or out of proportion, therapy can offer a safe space to explore it with compassion, not judgement.

When properly understood, anger can become a source of power and clarity, helping us to identify unmet needs and giving us impetus to address them openly, rather than bury them. This can ultimately help us move forward with renewed energy and purpose.  

One of the most comprehensive types of therapy you can undertake is known as Internal Family Systems, which we specialise in at our London clinic.