Men & Burnout: Why It Can Go Unrecognised & Possible Signs

As we approach Men’s Health Week on 9-12 June, it’s a good opportunity to discuss the mental wellbeing challenges that affect many men. The week is designed to encourage all men and boys to address any health concerns they are experiencing, yet all too often, men struggle to the point of crisis rather than seek help.

This is born out in the statistics: suicide is the biggest cause of death in men under the age of 35, and four in five suicides are by men. Men are also more likely to resort to harmful coping mechanisms, such as misusing alcohol or drugs; risk taking; over exercising or over working; gambling; or excessive time spent online or gaming. 

Sometimes these behaviours can mask the signs of burnout in men. Here’s a look at why burnout can go unrecognised in men, what some of the hidden symptoms can be, and what can be done to encourage men to reach out. 

Why burnout can be underdiagnosed in men

There is a lot of focus on how burnout affects women, and rightly so: women often have stressful yet lower paying jobs in the caring profession, and the lion’s share of domestic labour and child rearing still falls on their shoulders. Women also still face issues such as harassment and discrimination, which can add to stress levels. 

However, men are also affected by burnout, and studies show they are less likely to recognise or seek help for the symptoms than women. There are several reasons why this might be the case. Phrases such as “man up” are often used casually towards men who attempt to express their emotions, even if they are heading towards a crisis point. 

Men are conditioned to be strong, stoic, and in control, and they might feel a sense of shame or stigma if they do not feel this way. Men are still regarded as the breadwinner in many families, and this comes with a sense of obligation to appear strong, capable and to carry on, no matter what. 

Burnout symptoms may also manifest differently in women than in men, and sometimes there isn’t enough recognition of this. Sometimes, men may simply not understand why they don’t feel ‘right’, have limited knowledge of mental health and do not have the ability or confidence to articulate what they are feeling or look for support. 

Signs of burnout in men that might go unrecognised

• Flashes of temper or irritability, such as snapping at partners or children, bursts of road rage, frustration at slow technology

• Avoidance mechanisms: a default state of resorting to a numbing mechanism, whether it’s scrolling for hours, drinking alcohol, vaping, or smoking weed

• Constant fatigue: feeling tired even after waking from sleep or a few days off work; low energy levels 

• Lack of interest in work, hobbies, or relationships, constantly feeling flat or detached from people and surroundings. Apathy is a classic symptom of burnout  

• A busy mind that never shuts down 

• A loss of confidence: questioning things you didn’t used to think twice about 

• A persistent feeling of cynicism, and a tendency to be critical or disappointed with the people or culture around you

• Procrastination or trouble finishing tasks that used be easy 

What action can men take if they are near breaking point?

Talking to someone you trust about the way you feel can sometimes make all the difference. It can provide a sense of reassurance and put problems that seemed overwhelming into perspective. Practical steps such as exercising, not to hit targets or achieve a certain body type, but to provide a sense of release and purpose, can also be helpful.

However, burnout can be a complex issue that isn’t always resolved through talking or lifestyle changes. If you have a deeper underlying mental health problem, you may be interested in trying Internal Family Systems therapy, which we offer at our London clinic. Please feel free to get in touch for more information.