How to Start Living Now (Even If Your Future’s Uncertain)

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Once things calm down, then I’ll…”? Maybe it’s “Once I finish this project, I’ll start exercising.” Or “When I’ve saved a bit more, I’ll take that trip.” 

It’s easy to tell ourselves that we’re simply being sensible: preparing, planning, waiting for the right time. But often, what’s really happening is something psychologists now call Delayed Life Syndrome: the habit of postponing fulfilment until circumstances feel perfect.

Many high-functioning adults, professionals, and parents fall into this trap. Life becomes a series of milestones: we think there’s always something else to complete before permission is granted to enjoy or rest. Yet that “someday” never quite arrives.

The truth is, you don’t have to overhaul your life to start living. Here’s a look at how small, intentional steps can bring a sense of purpose and presence right now.

When ‘later’ becomes a lifestyle

At first, waiting makes sense. You might be genuinely busy, managing responsibilities, or recovering from burnout. But over time, living for later can quietly become a way of life.

You might find yourself saying:

• “I’ll reach out to friends once work quiets down.”

• “I’ll move house when I’ve saved a bit more.”

• “I’ll feel happier once I’ve achieved X.”

This cycle of constantly preparing for the future keeps us safe, but also stuck. As Psychology Today notes, many people live as if they’re “still getting ready” for their real life to begin. Underneath that delay often lies fear: fear of failure, fear of judgment, or even fear of success and change.

But what if the waiting itself is what’s keeping you from the life you want?

The myth of perfect timing

One of the most persistent illusions is the idea that there will be a “perfect” time to start living differently: when work is less stressful, the finances are sorted, or you finally feel confident. But life rarely presents that ideal window. Confidence doesn’t arrive first; it’s built through action.

From a psychological perspective, our brains are wired to seek safety and familiarity. Even when our current situation feels unfulfilling, it’s known and predictable, and that predictability feels safe. Taking action, even a small one, triggers uncertainty, and the brain interprets uncertainty as risk.

So we wait. But as the author of the Psychology Today article wisely points out, “The time is rarely right or wrong. It’s what you do with it that counts.” If we stop waiting for perfect conditions, we can start working with the moment we’re actually in.

Why tiny steps change everything

You don’t need a grand reinvention to reclaim your life. Small steps can have enormous psychological power. The act of doing often precedes the feeling of being ready.

For example:

• Instead of “I’ll travel when I retire,” book a weekend away now.

• Instead of “I’ll exercise when I have time,” try a ten minute walk after lunch.

• Instead of “I’ll feel happy when I change careers,” start a course or reach out to someone who’s already in that field.

Each small step trains your mind to tolerate uncertainty and builds confidence through evidence that you can achieve. Meaning isn’t created at the end of a journey; it’s built along the way.

Values over validation

Many people delay living not because they’re lazy or unmotivated, but because they’re chasing external approval. Promotions, possessions, and perfection can become substitutes for inner alignment. If this resonates, try to shift the focus from “What will others think?” to “What actually matters to me?”

Ask yourself:

• What do I truly value right now?

• What am I postponing that reflects that value?

If connection matters, schedule time with loved ones, even if it means saying no elsewhere. If creativity matters, create in small ways – write a paragraph, sketch an idea, sing for yourself. Living according to your values creates a sense of authenticity that achievement alone can’t replace.

Making peace with not knowing

One of the hardest truths to accept is that the future will always be uncertain. But that uncertainty doesn’t have to mean paralysis. Practices like mindfulness, journaling, and gratitude can help anchor your attention in the present moment. 

You don’t need to wait for permission, confidence, or ideal circumstances to begin living the life you want. Every intentional small act is a declaration that you’re no longer living on hold.

For some people the way forward is trickier, especially if you’re living with issues such as unresolved trauma or addiction. If you’re struggling, you may wish to explore Internal Family Systems therapy at our London clinic, which helps you move towards wholeness and self-acceptance.