What’s The Difference Between ‘Good Pressure’ & Bad Stress?

We often talk about stress as an enemy: something to conquer, avoid, or “manage.” But not all stress is harmful. In fact, a certain amount of pressure can motivate us, help us focus, and push us to grow. The problem is that many of us no longer know where healthy pressure ends and chronic stress begins.

During Stress Awareness Week (3 - 7 November), it’s a good time to pause and reflect on how pressure impacts your own life, and what it’s trying to tell you.

Understanding “good” pressure

A bit of pressure can be a positive force. Think of the nerves you feel before giving a presentation, sitting an exam, or having an important conversation. Your body releases adrenaline and cortisol, preparing you to perform. You feel alert, focused, and ready.

This kind of short-term stress – sometimes called “eustress” – can help you rise to a challenge, supplying you with just the right amount of mental and physical resilience. Afterward, once the event passes, your body returns to balance. You might even feel a sense of accomplishment or satisfaction.

In a healthy rhythm of life, this rise and fall of pressure feels natural: a phase of effort, followed by rest and recovery. Without it, life would feel unbearably flat and boring. However, for some people, that recovery phase never seems to arrive.

When pressure becomes chronic stress

Chronic stress begins when the body and mind stop getting a chance to reset. Instead of short bursts of energy, the stress response becomes a constant background hum, sometimes so familiar that we hardly notice it anymore.

You might tell yourself you’re just “busy,” “driven,” or even “coping fine.” But the signs are often there:

• Difficulty sleeping or switching off

• A racing mind even when you’re resting

• Frequent headaches, tension, or fatigue

• Irritability or emotional numbness

• Feeling detached, like you’re living on autopilot

Over time, chronic stress doesn’t just exhaust you physically. It also disconnects you from your emotional world. You might find it harder to notice how you actually feel, whether that’s sadness, anger, or simple tiredness, because you’re always in “go” mode.

Why it’s so easy to miss the difference

Part of the reason we blur the line between pressure and stress is cultural. We often reward busyness, seeing it as a sign of worth or dedication. Feeling constantly under pressure can even become part of our identity: “I’m just someone who thrives under stress.”

But the truth is, none of us are built to live in permanent fight-or-flight mode. The very systems that help us perform under pressure, including our hormones, our nervous system, and our mental focus, all need rest to function properly.

It’s also emotional, because sometimes we can feel safer in motion than in stillness. Stopping can bring up discomfort: feelings we’ve pushed aside, or a sense of emptiness that’s easier to avoid by staying busy. In that way, chronic stress sometimes becomes a form of avoidance; a way of not feeling what’s going on underneath.

How to reconnect with a healthier rhythm

Advice about eliminating stress from our lives is usually not realistic: a lot of the time, stressors such as jobs and caring responsibilities are unavoidable. And as we have seen, stress can be a positive force. What helps is learning to listen and respond to it with more subtlety and awareness:

Notice your body

Pay attention to physical signs: tight shoulders, shallow breathing, jaw tension, fatigue. These are often early signals that pressure is tipping into strain.

Build moments of genuine rest

Rest isn’t just collapsing in front of a screen. True rest is anything that brings your nervous system back into balance, such as a quiet walk, slow breathing, or simply sitting with a cup of tea without multitasking.

Name your feelings

Try checking in with yourself throughout the day: What am I feeling right now? Naming emotions helps bring you out of autopilot and back into awareness.

Reach out if things feel too much

Sometimes, chronic stress becomes so normal that we can’t see it clearly until we speak it out loud. Talking with a therapist can help you unpack what’s driving the constant pressure, and find ways to restore calm without losing motivation.

Finding balance again

Healthy pressure challenges us to grow, take risks, and move toward what matters. Chronic stress, on the other hand, slowly closes us off  from others, from rest, and from ourselves, and that’s when it’s time to pause and listen.